Responsibilities
by MoonshineMadame
Summary: Cora accidentally finds out about Edith pregnancy. Thereupon things better left unsaid are spoken out loud and Edith runns away to stay with aunt Rosamund in London, hoping she can find strengh to face the truth and take the responsibility to make some decisions. AU from 4.7
1. How the truth revealed itself

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

 **A/N at the end of the chapter :)**

* * *

"Edith?"

The blonde young women turned around to face her mother. Lady Cora, Countess of Grantham, stood at the top of the stairs and looked at her second daughter.

"Yes?"

"May I have a word with you?"

The girl shrugged and mentioned for Cora to follow her into her room. After she closed the door, Cora sat on the bed and watched her daughter.

"What can I do for you, Mama?"

Cora sighed.

"Talk to me, Edith! I know something has upset you – is it Mr Gregsons departure to Germany?"

Edith looked away to keep the tears in her eyes from falling.

"I-I just miss him, Mama. And nobody had a heard from him – what if something serious had happened to him?"

"Oh darling," whispered Cora but hesitated to pull her into a hug. While she had always been close to Mary and Sybil, she had never shared this bond with Edith. The girl had always been so lonely, even with her two sisters and Cora could never really tell what was going on inside her like she was able to with Sybil and Mary. Edith sighed.

"He told me he wanted to marry me when he got back from Germany," she finally confessed to her mother. The older women suddenly understood why her daughter was so upset – she was deeply in love and after the disaster with Anthony a few years ago it was only natural that she was so…horrified now. But still, Cora could see in her eyes that there was something else that upset her. She just had to find out what it was.

Edith on the other hand wasn't quite sure how much she could tell her mother. She knew how upset she first had been when Sybil married Tom, but while she was quite sure that Cora would come around sooner or later she certainly would be upset –and probably angry – now.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No. I'll be fine, Mama, really. I just have to get some news from Michael – have I told you that his office sent a private detective to look for him?"

Cora shook her head and Edith continued.

"They asked me to stop by the next time I am in London and I thought about going tomorrow. Maybe I'll stay with aunt Rosamund for the night, but I'm not sure about that yet."

"Have you told your father?"

Edith nodded.

"He said I should call if I decided to stay with Rosamund. But I can only decide after I was at Michaels office and heard what they wanted to tell me."

"I understand. But Edith," Cora gave her daughter a pleading look, "I wish you would talk to me. There is something else that has upset you – it can't be that bad. I won't push you now, Edith."

The older women almost flinched when she saw Edith horrified look.

"I really want to help you with whatever it is."

Edith nodded slowly.

"I'm fine, really Mama. There is nothing you need to worry about."

Cora sighed once more but then decided that pushing now won't get her anywhere. She had – after all – raised three girls; she did learn a lot about them and therefore knew that some talks should just be continued at some other time. With a smile towards her second daughter she stood up and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Good night, Edith."

"Good night, Mama."

* * *

This night, neither of the women slept well. Edith was worried what her Mama would did tell her – or didn't tell her, while Cora was worried what secret Edith kept – it really must be something horrible if she was so afraid to tell. She simply hoped that she would find it out soon – only she didn't know how soon she would.

* * *

It was an early morning for Cora, considering she usually had breakfast in bed and never went downstairs before 10am. But after the rough night she was up very early today and therefore she heard a strange noise when she passed Edith room. Worriedly she knocked, but when Edith did not answer, she just opened the door and stepped inside.

The noise came from the balcony, and as Cora pulled back the curtains to see what was wrong she found her daughter setting on the floor.

"Oh dear," she whispered as she took the scene in.

Edith face was ashen and she looked like she was going to be sick, all while tears were streaming down her face. That was what Cora had heard, she realized, Edith sobs. Without hesitating she kneeled down beside her daughter and this time she didn't hesitate to pull her into a hug. Finally Edith calmed down and Cora managed to lead her inside and sit down on the bed.

While her mother was still stoking her back, Edith knew she would have to tell Cora the truth now. But before she could say something, Cora spoke up with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Edith darling, are you sick? Is this what has troubled you – please tell me it is nothing serious! I will have one of the maid call Dr Clarkson and –"

"I'm not sick, Mama. There is really no need to call Dr Clarkson. I just need to sleep a little, and then I'll be fine again."

Cora gave her a doubtful look.

"Are you sure? Because I am worried about you, Edith, and if you are sick I need to know. Anyway, it might be better if you stayed in bed today, don't you think?"

"No, I told you. I am not ill. And I really need to go to London, so I'll lie down now and then leave with the train at noon."

"Edith! I'm worried about you! You will either tell me what is wrong now or I will ask Dr Clarkson to come here!"

"I'm fine, Mama! I don't need Dr Clarkson, I just need to sleep and then I need to go to London!"

There was finality in Edith voice but Cora didn't care. She shot her daughter a dark look.

"Don't be cheeky on me! I am really worried about you! Now, tell me what is wrong or Dr Clarkson will be here within half an hour."

Cora had to force herself to calm her voice – she WAS worried about Edith – but she also was furious that she did not want to tell her what was wrong – because it was obvious that there was something. She was just about to question herself for getting that angry when Edith sighed deeply.

"You have to promise me something."

"Yes?"

"Do not tell Papa."

"But Edith –" Cora was confused, but the blonde interrupted her.

"Please. Promise me."

"Fine. I promise. I will not tell Robert."

Satisfied with her mother's answer, Edith took a deep breath.

"I've been sick and unwell like this for almost three month now, and almost every day."

It took Cora a moment to realize what Edith had just said. She jumped on her feet.

"Edith – do you mean…are you saying…"

"I'm pregnant, Mama."

Edith voice was calm, but she was terrified what her mother would do now. Cora sank down on the chair.

"That can't be happening. Not now…not after everything…" She stopped muttering to herself to look at her daughter.

"How could that happen?" she asked sharply.

"You have three daughters, you should know."

Edith knew it was the wrong thing to say, but honestly – what did Cora expect her to say?

"Watch your mouth, Edith! I take it that this – well, child is Gregson's?"

She was not sure why, but suddenly Edith wasn't worried anymore. All the time she had hoped that Cora would be kind, she was her mother! But apparently she was wrong and this made her angry. Angry at both herself for trusting her mother and angry at her mother for betraying her trust.

"Yes, that would be correct."

"Why Edith, why?"

"Because I love him!"

"That doesn't matter! How could you let it get this far?"

"I told you! I love him! Isn't that reason enough?!"

"No, it is certainly not! Did you just once think about the consequences? Not only for you and your child, but for all of us? What about your reputation – the whole family's reputation? Times are changing, but some things won't, did you think about that?"

"Yes! And I decided that –"

"It doesn't matter to you. You gave up on every chance for a good life for one single night of pleasure – of course you did not think about the consequences! You were just as irresponsible as your mother!"

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hey everyone!**

 **I thought putting this note at the end would be reasonable, since I would not accidently reveal some spoilers from this first chapter.**

 **This is my first attempt on a Downton Fanfiction and it is the first time I publish something in English. Therefore I am always glad to get some constructive criticism :)**

 **So, this idea was wandering around in my head ever since I first saw Downton Abbey; Edith looks NOTHING like her mother, father or her sisters, so I just had to write this. I would love to know what you think about it – and I'd love to get some guesses what could happen (I have the next two chapters already written, but anyway).**


	2. What once is said can not be undone

**Hi everyone!**

 **Thank you for your nice reviews, I will answer them at the end of the chapter.**

 **I am really happy that someone actually read this story, because I wasn't sure if anyone would like it – but I'm glad you do.**

 **At the end of the last chapter I asked you about your guesses on Edith parents – maybe you were right, maybe you were not. Anyway, I think either I messed something up or I wrote something the wrong way. This story sets (as you will read in the chapter) after Edith decided not to have the abortion, but before she and Rosamund leave for Switzerland.**

 **I will try to follow the original storyline as close as possible, because what I have planned for this story fits very well with it.**

 **So, that's it from me – enjoy the chapter :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey…**

* * *

"You are just as irresponsible as your mother!"

"I DID – what?"

Silence fell over the room as the two women realized what Cora had just said. The Countess put a hand over her mouth; the horrified expression on her face clearly indicating how shocked she was about her own words. Edith just stared at her with wide eyes as the words slowly sunk in. Finally she started talking again, her voice dangerously low.

"What did you mean, Mama?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, really? Because I think you did just tell me you are not my mother. Are you?"

"No, I'm not."

Coras voice was shaking and she tried to grab Edith hands.

"I may not have given birth to you but I love you nonetheless! It was horrible of me to say this, I promised I would never … I am sorry, Edith."

Tears welled up in Edith eyes when she pulled her hands away.

"If you are not my mother, then who is? Tell me, please!"

"I can't," Cora started, shaking her head, "I swore I would never tell you. I… Edith, I am so sorry…please –"

"Go. Leave me alone, I…I need to think."

"Edith-"

"Just go!"

Slowly, Cora stood up. Oh, how she wanted to stay and comfort her daughter – she refused to think about her as anyone else – but she knew that it would not work. If she wanted Ediths forgiveness, she had to give her the time she needed to think about this. Knowing this, she sank down on her own bed and let her tears fall in silence.

The moment Cora had closed the door, Edith had started to cry. This could not be true! It must be a dream, a nightmare and all the young women wanted was to wake up.

When she was younger, Edith had often dreamed what it would be like to be someone else. It was one of the few things she and Sybil used to do together, making up stories in which they were normal people – not the daughters of an earl. As they grew older the times they dreamed together got rare, and when Sybil married she suddenly was another person, with an entirely different life.

Edith on the other hand was mostly happy with whom she was – or at last, she had been lately. Of course, whenever Mary decided to be mean again Edith found herself thinking what it would be like if Mary was not her sister.

She had always been an outsider in the Crawley family. Cora, Mary, Sybil and Robert – they all had dark hair while she herself was blonde. Violet had told her once, when Edith complained about that as a little girl, that she had reddish-blonde hair herself once and that Edith had hired it from her.

Sometimes Edith had still caught herself dreaming she was not a Crawley – but while the dream was nice, in reality it was a horrible nightmare.

Her whole life was a lie! But it DID explain all the things she had been wondering about – she did not look like her parents because they weren't her parents!

This thought horrified Edith – all she could think about was getting away from Downton. She desperately needed to get her mind cleared, and therefore she needed room.

But where should she go? The only place she could think of was London.

Yes, she would go to London and stay there for some time with the only person who had always – ever since Edith could remember – been there for her: Aunt Rosamund.

* * *

When Edith knocked at her aunts door the butler opened immediately. He led her into the sitting room, where Rosamund was already waiting for her. Edith sat down next to her on the settee, but other than the greetings she did not say a word.

It was Rosamund who finally broke the silence. She was extremely worried about her niece and she desperately wanted to know what had happened to upset her like this. Even before she had heard Edith request on the phone this morning, she had noticed in her voice that something was off.

"Are you going to tell me what is wrong?" she asked bluntly.

"I…I can't," Edith answered quietly, her eyes avoiding to meet her aunts, "I mean, not yet. I have to think about this…thing first."

Rosamund nodded.

"I thought so. Just know that you can always come to me if you need something, right?"

Edith finally looked up to give her a watery smile, but she did not continue the matter. Instead, she went on to what was more important for herself at that moment.

"Is it really fine with you if I…well, if I live here for some time?"

"Of course, my dear. I have already told you; you are welcome to stay as long as you want. It is probably easier to hide your condition here in London anyway."

Edith nodded slowly. With everything that happened this morning, she had almost forgotten about the reason for the fight. She gave her aunt a look.

"Mama knows," Edith dropped the bomb. Rosamund took a sharp breath.

"How did that happen?" she wanted to know.

The blonde shrugged.

"I felt sick this morning and she found me."

"I guess she wasn't too happy?"

"She said some pretty unpleasant things. But I can't tell you yet – I need to sort this out for myself first, aunt Rosamund."

"Very well. I won't make you tell me now." ' _You always come to me sooner or later_ ,' she added silently.

"When will your luggage arrive here? Or did you plan to buy a complete new wardrobe?"

"Oh – well, honestly I have completely forgotten about that," Edith confessed.

Rosamund shot her an alarmed glance.

"But you did tell your parents that you would stay here?"

"Yes, of course I did. I told Papa I needed some time away from Downton after the fight with Mama. But I was so churned up that I forgot about what I would need to take with me. I should call later and have somebody send to bring my clothes here."

Rosamund nodded.

"You may do so. Do you need me today or can I leave you alone this afternoon? I have a few things to organize with one of my charities, but if you'd like me to stay I would call them off."

"I'm fine, aunt Rosamund. I'll go upstairs and lie down a bit, I'm rather tired."

* * *

After Rosamund had given her a kiss on the cheek, Edith ventured upstairs to her room. When she lay down on the bed, her thoughts began to run wild.

Who was her family?

Who was she?

Why had Cora and Robert had taken her in as their daughter if they could have other children themselves? If she had been a boy, yes, but … no, it must have been for a reason she could not yet guess.

But, now that she thought about it, a lot of things suddenly made sense.

She and Mary had never gotten along well, only Sybil had always been nice to her. Her sisters – by name only, it appeared – got praised ever so often while she did not. Her parents – adoptive parents – had never really cared so much to find her a suitable husband, making her feel like she would be the maid to take care of them one day. Mary and Sybil both had dark hair while she was blonde – the only blonde in a family with dark haired people. Her mother had never cared so much about her because she actually wasn't her mother!

This thought made tears well up in Edith eyes.

What had she done to deserve this?

Her fingers clenched above her still flat belly.

This was so unfair! – But then maybe…maybe it had all been for her own best? Had her mother not yet been married and given her up for her own good? Or did her parents not have enough money to feed her? Who were her parents? Would she ever find out who she really was?

She almost started to cry, but then she realized that she could actually ask someone if she knew about her parents. Her REAL parents. Yes, she would ask aunt Rosamund, the only person in the whole Crawley family who had always treated her like she was just as precious as darling Mary or lovely little Sybil. And ever since she came to London regularly, she had grown closer to her aunt than to anyone else in her family.

Yes, if she wanted answers, she would have to ask aunt Rosamund.

The thought that Rosamund was probably only treating her so nice because she did not know about the whole thing was pushed back into the darkest corner of Edith mind. That was simply not a possibility.

* * *

About two hours later Edith woke up, feeling only a little refreshed. When she realized that Rosamund was still out, she decided to call Downton so someone could send her some cloth.

Carson, who had picked up the telephone, had seemed a little confused about her request, but luckily did not ask any questions. He sent one of the footmen to London with her luggage on the last train. The boy would stay at Lady Rosamunds house and take the first train back to Downton in the morning.

After he hung up, Carson walked into the library, where Lord Grantham sat with Lady Grantham, to inform his Lordship about Lady Edith request.

"Lady Edith wants to stay in London, Milord. She asked for us to send her clothes and some things for the next few days", he informed the lord. He did not see how Cora paled at his words, but Robert did and simply nodded towards Carson.

"If you could please do so immediately?"

Carson gave him a nod and quickly left to fetch Mrs Hughes for this task.

As soon as the butler had left, Cora started to sob silently. Robert carefully put his arm around her. She had not told him what exactly had happened; all he knew was that she had a bad fight with Edith early in the morning. He hated being unable to offer her comfort like she deserved it, but this was one of the rare times when he could not guess what had upset the two of them today.

"Will you tell me what is wrong?" he asked gently.

"Edith and I had a horrible fight this morning and we both said some things that should have better been left unsaid. But now she is in London…I just hope it will help her to sort out her mind again, Robert. If I have not heard of her – or from Rosamund – that she is fine by the day after tomorrow, I will go to London myself. She may needs some time, but this needs to be put right again."

"You won't tell me what you have said to her?"

"No, I won't. But I can tell you that much, Robert; it hurt her, and I could curse myself for hurting one of our girls."

They sat together in silence until the bell rung for dinner and they had to go over to the dining room.

* * *

Perfectly in time for dinner Lady Rosamund arrived at her house on Belgrave Square.

She did not push Edith to tell her what had happened – she knew Edith would tell her when she was ready. Instead she started talking about her various charities and Edith just listened without taking in what Rosamund was saying.

After dinner they retired to the sitting room, but neither of them actually bothered to break the silence. Edith sat on the settee, simply staring into the fire while she was once again thinking about all the things she had learned since this morning; Rosamund sat on the other end of the settee and read a book. The younger women caught a glimpse of the title – _Alice in Wonderland,_ one of Rosamunds favourite books. Edith could remember how her aunt had read to her and her sisters when they were kids – only that she wasn't HER aunt and they weren't HER sisters.

Once again tears welled up in her eyes and suddenly she felt like little Alice when she fell down the rabbit hole. Scared and overwhelmed, finally coming to the realization that there was more about her life than she would have ever guessed, and like little Alice realizing that she had grown up with a lie…only did her lie actually make sense.

While waiting for Rosamund to come back, Edith had gone through the whole fight over and over again and finally came to a conclusion. Her parents – or her mother at least – had to be part of the nobility, since there was a reputation to be ruined. So the question was way more simple: who was such a good friend to her Lord and Lady Grantham that they wanted to save their reputation so badly?

Edith could not think of anyone. Still troubled with her situation, she stood up rather abruptly.

"I'm going to bed. Good night, aunt Rosamund."

She almost fled from the room before her aunt even had the chance to wish her good night as well.

* * *

 **So, now we know that Rosamund cared for Edith a lot when she and her sisters were children. I would like to know what you would think about some cute little flashbacks from Edith childhood experiences with her aunt Rosamund and her uncle Marmaduke?**

* * *

 **Lady Strallan:**

 **Thanks for our review and correcting the mistake, I already changed it ;)**

 **I started from the same point - why would they not care about Edith, because 'being the sandwich-child' is not an excuse for that. So my mind started wandering and this is what happened…**

 **Ethelthayerfan:**

 **I'm glad you like it ;)**

 **As I already said in the AN at the beginning, I won't tell if you are right or wrong :)**

 **I hope you like this chapter as well :)**

 **Guests:**

 **Thank you for your reviews! :***


	3. Why actions may mean more than words

**Hey everyone!**

 **Thanks for the nice reviews, once again I answer them at the end :)**

 **From now on, I will try to update (at least) once a week, either on Wednesday or on Saturday. The next chapter is already finished, and most of the story's outlining is done.**

 **So, since I most likely forgot something really important again, I will stop this now.**

 **Enjoy the new chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey…**

* * *

"Edith? May I come in?"

Startled by her aunts' voice Edith sat up on her bed and took in her surroundings. It was dark outside, but she wasn't sure if it was late in the night or early in the morning. She had spent the last day in her room, crying and thinking but had lost every feeling of time through this.

"Edith? Are you alright?"

The worry in her aunts' voice was obvious and Edith nodded quickly. When she realized that Rosamund couldn't see her, she shook her head about herself.

"Come in."

Rosamund slowly stepped into the room and sat down on the bed, right next to her niece. Edith thought she would say something, but instead she just pulled her into a hug. The young women immediately snuggled up to her even closer and they just sat like that for a while; Rosamund softly stroking Edith back while the girl cried into her aunts dressing-gown.

Neither of them knew how long they sat there until Edith pulled back reluctantly to wipe her tears away and look at her aunt. She took a deep breath.

"Mama knows about the baby," she said.

"Oh darling, that is not that bad. I'm sure she will help you – after all, she still is your mother."

"That is the point. She isn't."

Edith voice was surprisingly calm but the look on Rosamunds' face was horrified. When she didn't say a word, Edith hurriedly continued.

"She said I did not think about anything – like the consequences or my reputation. And then she…she said," Edith choked on her tears, but Rosamund pulled her close once again.

"What did Cora say?"

"She said _'You are just as irresponsible as your mother'._ "

"Oh Edith," murmured Rosamund as her niece started sobbing again. Soothingly she rubbed her back – but now that she knew what had troubled Edith, she was furious with Cora. Edith had trusted her with a secret and all she had done was betraying her trust! As if Edith had not enough to cope with already!

When Edith raised her tearstained face to look at her, Rosamunds heart broke for her.

"How could she do this to me? I always thought – I knew I was different than Mary and Sybil. But why did they not tell me before? It would have been such a relive for Mary to know I am not related to her! And now – Papa – I mean, if I would ever marry I would never heir something or have a fortune to bring, because I am not even their child, and now they will hate me – why did they even take me in and raise me in the first place? Why – I mean, if I had been a boy, yes, but… aunt Rosamund, why did they do this and never said a word about it? Who am I – if they are not my parents and I am not a Crawley, then I just don't know – I don't know who I am!"

Rosamund grabbed the girls' shoulders and forced her to look her in the eyes.

"Listen to me, Edith. Whatever you may think, you are still you. You are Edith Crawley. Never doubt that. The people you grew up knowing as you family, they ARE your family. They love you, and they only want what's best for you."

While she tried to stop crying, Edith thought about what Rosamund had just said and realized that she had been right.

"You knew."

It was not a question, yet Rosamund felt obliged to answer.

"Yes, I knew."

"But you didn't tell me either."

"It was not my place to do so. Cora and Robert took you in; you are their daughter in anything but blood, so it was their place to tell you."

Edith nodded slowly. It actually made sense, if she had been in their place she wouldn't have someone else to tell her about this.

"Do you know who my real family is?"

Rosamund paled at those words, but her answer was unexpected to Edith.

"Yes, I do know. But I will not tell you."

"But –"

"No, Edith," Rosamund looked at her pleadingly, "I cannot tell, so please don't beg me."

"Can – can you at least me … well, are they alive? Why did they give me away?"

The older women sighed and moved both of them, so they sat more comfortable on Edith bed.

"I know for a fact that your mother is still alive and healthy. She had always been a good friend of the Crawley family. When she found out she was pregnant with you, she and Cora practically locked themselves away at Downton and Cora spread the news that she was having another baby. Your birth mother was not married then and they wanted to avoid scandal, so Cora took you in as her own and saved her reputation. I think giving you up was the hardest thing she ever did. I know for sure she only did it because she knew that your life with Cora and the Crawleys would be better than the life you'd have had she kept you."

Whatever she had thought, this was not the answer Edith had expected. At least it explained what Cora had said about her reputation. Suddenly, Edith felt sorry for leaving Downton I such a harsh manner – but at the mere thought about what her 'parents' had kept from her the guilt ebbed away.

Finally she looked up, only to see that now Rosamund was crying silently. Edith took her aunts hands into her own.

"Thank you for telling me all this. I know it was not your duty to do so – but I am glad you did it anyway."

Rosamund smiled at her.

"If you just knew how angry I am with Cora right now…But I was so worried about what horrible things she could have said to you that this almost a relieve – can you believe it? I am glad she had only told you about this – the, well, the circumstances of your birth. But believe me, Edith, Cora and Robert love you very much and I am sure Cora is very sorry."

"I hope she is. It's just, you know, I had this vision that she would react like you did."

A smile rushed over Rosamunds face.

"I would have been worried if she did. Now – you should get some sleep, it's way past midnight and you look exhausted-"

Rosamund pressed a kiss on Edith forehead and wanted to leave, but Edith held her back.

"Please, could you just – no, I am stupid, forget about it."

She pulled her hand back, but her aunt gave her a reassuring smile.

"Well?"

"Nothing."

Edith shook her head. Her aunt raised an eyebrow.

"I feel stupid for asking, like a child, even though I am a grown woman now –"

"What is it, Edith?"

"Could you stay here? I think if you leave I'll start thinking again, and then I start crying and won't get any sleep at all…"

"Move over."

Immediately Edith did so and Rosamund laid down next to her. She pulled her niece close, and when Edith felt the rhythm of her breath she finally calmed down and soon fell asleep.

* * *

Rosamund was woken by the tickling of the sun on her face. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked out of the window. It was bright day outside, the sky was blue and from the bed she could not see a single cloud. Edith was cuddled up to her side; it seemed like she was still sleeping peacefully. The older woman smiled – the last few days had been exhausting for Edith, both physically and mentally.

Since she was glad that the girl had finally found to sleep, Rosamund decided to stay in bed a while longer – there was no way for her to get up without waking Edith and that was the last thing she wanted.

* * *

She did not know how long she had laid there until Edith woke up and was surprised to found her aunt still next to her.

Rosamund gave her a smile.

"Good morning, sleepy head. Did you have a good rest?"

Edith had to fight hard to stop herself from laughing.

"Yes, I did," she answered. "I actually had not slept this good in weeks."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, but I think now it is about time for us to get up."

"What time is it?" Edith wanted to know in surprise.

Her aunt shrugged.

"About lunchtime."

"WHAT? Why did you not wake me up earlier?"

"Because you needed to rest."

The simple answer startled Edit. She wasn't used to be treated like this; no one did ever care about her – nobody except her aunt. The young woman was shocked about herself that she never realized this before. She had never thanked her.

"Aunt Rosamund?"

"Yes?" The woman had been about to leave the room, but now she turned around again to look at her niece.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything – especially for always being the most motherly person in my life."

* * *

It was later on the same afternoon and Edith had decided to finally leave the house and go to the magazine – while they would most likely not have any new information about Michael, she liked the other people working there and thought it would be nice to hand her new article in personally.

That left Rosamund alone and she decided to finally make the call to her sister-in-law that was long overdue.

The phone in Downton Abbey was picked up after the second ring. It was Mary.

"Good afternoon, Mary."

"Aunt Rosamund!" she said surprised. Why did her aunt call? Had Edith done something that made Rosamund wish she had never allowed her to stay with her?

"Mary dear, would you mind calling your mother? I would really need to have a word with her."

"I'll call her."

It took a few minutes for Mary to find her mother, but finally Cora answered the phone.

"Rosamund?"

"Cora."

"Mary said you called – is something wrong with Edith?" The countesses' voice was thick with worry, but Rosamund did not care.

"Can you speak openly or is someone listening to you?" she asked instead.

"Mary is in the nursery, Tom and Robert are outside – what is wrong, Rosamund?"

"That is the question I should ask YOU, Cora! What on earth were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking! And I am so sorry-"

"Don't tell me, Cora. It is not my place to forgive you, but I hope you know that Edith was devastated and locked herself in her room almost two days. Only when I forced her to tell me last night she opened up and told me everything."

Cora sighed.

"I was so shocked – I did not know what I was saying until it was too late. But tell me, is Edith alright now? Can I talk to her?"

"She is at her publishers' office at the moment – that's why I called now. Because whatever one may say, you raised her and you have to be part of future plans – anything else would be strange to the outside."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Well…I am still thinking of how to proceed further since we certainly need a plan to follow."

"I agree. But she doesn't want Robert to know about…this, so we are on our own."

"Indeed we are. And we need a solution quickly – I cannot stop myself from thinking what would happen to Edith if this became public."

"She would break, I suppose," Cora said slowly.

"She is already broken." Unlike Coras' voice, Rosamunds was calm and without an overshot of emotion.

"What are you talking about?"

"She broke the moment you cast her away. You were supposed to be her mother and love her, yet you reacted the worst way you could when she finally trusted you."

"You think you would have done better?"

"I think I already did, Cora."

* * *

 **Here we go, Edith ha told Rosamund everything and now they are working on a solution – together with Cora, even though no one seems too happy about that …**

* * *

 **Guest :)**

 **Thanks for your review(s)!**

 **I really hope you liked the chapter, even though the interaction between Cora and Rosamund had been short. Cora will not come to London, but Edith and Rosamund will go to Downton soon.**

 **Next chapter we will have a flashback to the first time Edith stayed in London with Rosamund (and it got way to long for me to put it in one chapter, so the rest of that flashback will come some time later).**

 **YellowBrickQueen:**

 **Thanks for your review :)**

 **Well, as you may have already read, I never thought that Mrs Hughes could be Edith mum, even though it is an interesting thought…**

 **I hope you liked this chapter :)**

 **Lady Strallan:**

 **Thanks for your review!**

 **You could think that, right, but on the other hand: They would have to give her a dowry, and that would be a lot of money…**

 **I hope you liked Rosamunds reaction to everything!**

 **Ethelthayerfan:**

 **Thanks for the review!**

 **A biiig flashback will be in the next chapter; back to the winter 1900…I hope you will like it.**

 **We had plenty of Edith-Rosamund-caring-family in this chapter, and soon we will also get a little more of Cora, because sooner or later, Edith has to go back to Downton, at least for some time…**

 **Dreamer 3097:**

 **Thank you!**

 **I hope you did also like this chapter :)**


	4. How a taxi affects your memories

**Hey everyone!**

 **So, here I am with the new chapter.  
I really hope you do like it, even though it is a little later than I planned t to be…but while typing the hand written story I just started changing a lot of things (which I usually don't do), so the typing took a little longer than planned…**

 **Anyway, I hope you like it :)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

The next few days passed by quietly and Edith was relieved to stay in London instead of Downton. She had not felt sick for most of the time, but aunt Rosamund was fussing over her all day. Only when she went out to her publisher she could get away from her sight.

To her surprise, Edith found it quite refreshing that someone was looking after her. At home in Downton she always stood n Marys shadow, but it had never been like that when she was with her aunt – and uncle – in London.

Rosamund had told her that she had actually spoken to Cora and they had come to the agreement to find a solution that suited everyone. Finding that solution and fussing over Edith took most of her time, so when Edith told her she wanted to out for tea and do some shopping she happily agreed. She finally had an idea what they could do, but it would need a lot of preparation and some calls had to be made.

While Rosamund was doing her – at least Edith thought so – charity work, her niece was sitting in the taxi back to Belgrave Square after having tea with a friend.

Watching out of the window she suddenly remembered the first time she took a taxi to get somewhere. It had been the first time she was in London for more than a few days; she had been staying with aunt Rosamund and late uncle Marmaduke for almost 4 weeks over Christmas.

A smile spread on her face as she remembered that special Christmas. It was 1900 and the Lord and Lady of Downton had been invited to spend Christmas in Paris. Mary had begged them to take her and finally they had agreed.  
But then another problem occurred: What should the do with Edith? Little Sybil would stay home with the Nanny and the Dowager Countess, but Edith refused both – to come to France and to stay Downton.  
Luckily Rosamund had the perfect idea. Since she and Marmaduke were Edith godparents, they would take her for the time of Coras and Roberts trip.

Thinking about it now, Edith thought it had been the best holiday she had in her childhood.

* * *

 **December 5** **th** **, 1900:**

" _Aunt Rosamund will take good care of you, Edith, but if anything happens, then please do send us a telegram, yes?"_

 _The little girl nodded and her blonde curls bounced up and down._

" _Yes Mama."_

 _They were standing at Kings Cross in London, where Cora, Robert and Mary would now get onto their train to Dover while Edith would go home with aunt Rosamund._

" _Promise me to be a good girl, Edith," said Cora with tears in their eyes. She pulled her middle daughter into one last hug before she would get on the train. Everyone else was already inside but Cora only got on the train when her sister-in-law had assured her that everything would be fine._

 _Rosamund stood next to Edith, her hands on the girls' shoulders, and they watched until they could not see the train anymore in the distance._

" _So, what do you want to do, mhm?" she asked her niece as they were walking towards the street. The girl looked up to her in surprise._

" _What do you mean?"_

" _Well, would you like to o while you are in London? There is a lot more to see here than at Downton, and we have plenty of time to do everything you want. You just have to tell me what you want," she smiled and then bent down to whisper in Edith ear, "since I am your godmother, I will try to grant you every wish."_

 _Edith looked at her, trying to find something suspicious in her aunts' words – but there was nothing. She shrugged._

" _I don't know what I'd like to do, aunt Rosamund. I haven't really thought about it, though."_

" _What would you say about having tea in a very pretty little café and there we plan what we want to do during your time in London?"_

 _Edith beamed at her._

" _You'd take me to a real café?" she asked, obviously thrilled by that thought._

" _Of course, dear. Marmaduke will be home for dinner, but it is barely past noon and I had no intention in freezing by being outside until then."_

 _Edith giggled at her aunts words. No one EVER spoke like that at Downton!  
Even being only 8 years old Edith realized that London was a completely different world than the one she knew from the countryside of Yorkshire._

 _Suddenly her aunt waived her hand to a car that drove towards them. Did she know the owner? But then the car stopped right next to them and a man jumped out to help them inside.  
Edith looked hesitant, but Rosamund smiled at her. _

" _I forgot you have never been driving in a taxi, right?" she asked and the girl shook her head._

" _Well, taxis are the most common way of transport here in London if you do not own your own car. You just tell the driver where you want to you and he drives you. When you get out, you pay him for driving you."_

 _Edith nodded. While she had never been taking a taxi, she had of course heard about them when Papa had told Mama. They had their own car at Downton, but from her understanding it was not necessary to own one in London._

" _Would you mind to drive past some of the most famous places at London?" Rosamund asked the driver when she gave him the address._

" _Of course not, milady."_

 _The cab drive through London was amazing for Edith. Aunt Rosamund was pointing out of the window all the time to explain what they did just pass and Edith didn't know where to look first. By the time they arrived at the café Edith head was buzzing with information – yet she felt happier than she had in a while._

 _From the outside the café was simple and looked even a little boring, but when they stepped inside, Edith eyes grew wide in awe. Small, three-legged table stood in a wide, well lit room with huge windows in the back – the seemed to lead into a garden, but now they were closed because of the season. The walls were panelled with reddish wood and everything seemed warm and comfortable – yet there was an atmosphere of elegance around everything that was foreign to little Edith._

 _A waiter led them to a table near the windows and Rosamund ordered hot chocolate for Edith and coffee for herself._

" _So, what do you want to do?"_

" _I really don't know, aunt Rosamund! There are so many exciting things here in London – I really can't decide!" exclaimed Edith._

 _Her aunt chuckled._

" _You don't have to. We can do whatever you want – I want you to enjoy your time here as much as you can."_

" _Really?"_

" _Yes."_

* * *

 _So it was sealed that Edith would get whatever she wanted. It was something new for her – she always stood in Mary shadow, but suddenly she had two people who only cared for her._

 _It was in the second week of Edith time in London when Rosamund and Marmaduke had a diner party and she was taken to the tailor._

" _But aunt Rosamund," Edith said when they entered the shop, "I am not allowed to attend to dinner parties. Only Mary is."_

" _My dear, Mary is not here. And since I am not Cora her rules don't count for me, which means I can do things my way. And I want you to attend to that diner party, so I see no reason why you shouldn't," Rosamund explained to her._

 _This quietened Edith. She had thought everything had to be as Mama had taught her, but now she learned that this was not true. But she did not think about it too much, since aunt Rosamund asked her to pick the colours for her dresses – something she was never allowed when she was shopping with Mary and Cora._

 _Three days later it finally was time to put on the new dress. Two had been delivered in the morning – one for Christmas, and one for today. Edith felt like a big girl, because her aunt had asked her ladys maid to do her hair and dress the little girl. Now the child looked at herself in the mirror and felt prettier than ever before with her new emerald green dress and the matching bow in her hair._

 _She squealed when the door opened and Rosamund stepped in._

" _Thank you, aunt Rosamund, thank you SO much!"_

" _You're welcome, my dear," her aunt laughed and pulled her into a hug._

" _You look very pretty. But right now our guests will be arriving and I would like you to help me greet them."  
"Really?"_

" _Really."_

 _The diner itself was different from every diner Edith had attended to before. Her aunts and uncles friends were much funnier than everyone who would stay at Downton – and most importantly they talked to Edith. Of course they did not talk to her like they talked to each other, but they included her into their conversation and Edith was thrilled about that._

 _It was around midnight when the guests left and since it was Edith first real diner party, she was horribly tired. Actually she was tired enough to fall asleep on the settee in the sitting room when her aunt and uncle bade the last guests goodbye._

" _Rosamund? Where –"_

" _Pst." Rosamund put the finger to her lips as she stood in the door. Her husband stepped behind her and looked over her shoulder._

" _Isn't she sweet?" his wife whispered._

" _Yes, she is."_

 _They stood in silence for a few moments, watching their sleeping niece, before Marmaduke carefully stepped around his wife and kneeled down next to the child._

" _Edith?"_

" _Mhm?"_

 _With sleepy eyes the girl looked up and neither one of the adults could get themselves to wake the little girl up._

" _Can you carry her up to her room?" Rosamund asked quietly._

" _Of course. Careful, Edith – could you open the door Rose?"_

 _Half asleep Edith felt how her uncle picked her up. Immediately cuddled closer to his chest and clung close to him when he carried her upstairs. Rosamund was right behind them, and when Marmaduke put the girl down on her bed, she carefully started to pull the pins out of her nieces' hair.  
Edith lifted her head._

" _What're you doing, aunt Rosamund?" she murmured._

" _Getting you ready for bed, Sweetheart. Go back to sleep."_

 _And that was exactly what little Edith did._

* * *

The voice of her taxi driver pulled Edith out of her thoughts. She hadn't even noticed that they already were at Belgrave Square because she had been so caught up in her memories.

Only when she was walking up the steps to the front door Edith realized that her aunt had been behaving pretty weird that night, doing a maids job on her niece.

How odd.

* * *

 **Guest:**

 **Thank you for the review!**

 **I'm glad you liked the chapter – I hope you did like this one here too :)  
Well, about Edith father…that is probably the only thing I am as clueless about as you all are. I just can't decide…  
Anyway, the plan will come with the next chapter, but I try to stick as close to the original storyline as possible, so…**

 **Ethelthayerfan:**

 **Thanks!**

 **I hope you are not to disappointed that there wasn't any Cora in this chapter, but she will be next chapter – it's time to go back to Downton for a while…**


	5. When the women start to plot

**Okay, I am still pretty much alive and I am very sorry I did not update earlier.  
It's not an excuse, I know, but you all know how it is in the weeks before Christmas. SO much to do and absolutely no time to do it.  
I won't promise to update every week until the end of January, since my final tests are in January and I'll most likely spend all my time learning chemistry…**

 **Anyway, I hope you had a great Christmas and you will enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

"I think I may have found a way to keep your pregnancy a secret," Rosamund announced during dinner. Edith almost chocked on her food at this direct approach of the subject.

"Really?" she coughed. Waiting till she had calmed again, Rosamund nodded.

"Yes."

"Do tell me, please."

"We will go to a vacation at the continent. Of course we will tell Cora the truth – we will need her to convince Robert, I suppose."

"So, we go to the continent. Where do you want to go?"

"I'll tell Robert that I want to improve my French – Switzerland I thought would be a good option, they have good hospitals there."

"And the baby?"

Rosamund sighed at the question.

"I don't know about that yet. Do you want to keep it?" The question was asked quiet and carefully, as if Rosamund did not want to ask it. Her niece gave her a horrified look.

"Of course! How could I not want to –"

"Calm down! I know you didn't want your child dead, but if you want to raise it yourself we need a very good story."

Edith nodded.

"I'm sorry – You're right. But do we have to involve Mama?"

Rosamund shot her a sharp look.

"Yes, we do. She may have an idea how you can keep your child."

"If you say so…" The look Edith gave her aunt was pained, but Rosamund could not think of anything else to do.

* * *

After dinner Rosamund called Downton to arrange their journey there. Cora was anxious to see Edith again and seemed truly glad when Rosamund told her that she 'may had a solution – or at least a part of t'.

"Edith and Rosamund will arrive tomorrow," she explained to Robert after she had hung up.

2has Edith calmed down again?"

"His wife glared at him.

"It seems that Rosamund has helped her to come to terms with everything we said. But apparently Rosamund is planning something big – I have no idea what, but she did mention it."

This gave Robert an uneasy feeling. He loved his sister, but if she planned something big…well, you never knew with Rosamund and her ideas. At least she seemed to be over the phase when she was looking for a second husband, which was a great relieve for Robert.

* * *

The next afternoon the driver picked Edith and Rosamund up from the station and brought them to the Abbey. Robert was out in the estate with Mary and Tom, so only Cora was there to greet them.

"Rosamund."

"Cora."

The two older women greeted each other somehow cooler than usual, but Edith didn't notice. Then Cora turned to the young women.

"Edith."

"Mama."

Instead of greeting her he usual way, Cora pulled her daughter into a hug. She was quite relieved when Edith did not pull back, but finally she had to let go and lead her guests inside.

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Can I talk to you?"

Cora nodded. "Of course."

"I'll go and freshen up a bit," announced Rosamund and left for her room. As much as she wanted to be there for Edith, the girl needed to sort out her relationship with Cora herself.

While Rosamund removed her travel cloth, Cora led Edith into the library, where they sat on a settee next to each other.

"I am so sorry, Edith," Cora started, "I have hurt you and I have not earned your trust."

"I said a lot of bad things too, Mama. I should not have run away, but I felt like I could not do anything else."

"I am glad you have come back – whatever happened and will happen; this will always be your home. You can't imagine just how sorry I am for casting you away. I…"

"I forgive you, Mama – if you forgive me for running away."

"Of course I do," Cora answered and pulled her into a hug. They sat into silence until Edith spoke up again.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Lady Grantham sighed deeply.

"That is a long story. Your birth mother asked us for help and we – I – owed her our help. But I promised to never tell you, and I already did break that promise. It would only hurt you f I told you anything else –I'm sorry Edith. We always wanted what's best for you, and therefore I am sorry if I hurt you again by not telling you."

Edith nodded slowly. She understood what Cora was saying since it was practically the same thing Rosamund had told her.

"I think I do understand, I just hope that one day you will tell me – until then I won't ask you again.

A few moments later the door opened and Rosamund swept in. Cora gave her a thankful look and got a small smile in return. The three women ordered tea and did some catch-up about the latest London gossip, but when they sat their cups down Rosamunds face got serious.

"What is your plan, Rosamund?" Cora asked.

"Well, I thought about a lot of things we could do, but the only thing we actually can do to keep you safe, Edith, is to get you away from here without anyone suspecting anything. The only other decent solution for you would be to find a husband, but there are only few young men left who would be suitable – and it is too late for you to get married without raising suspicion now anyway."

"So what did the two of you agree on?"

"Aunt Rosamund wants to improve her French and she wants me to accompany her to Switzerland."

Cora raised her eyebrows, but then she nodded slowly.

"That could actually work. But what about the child, Edith?"

The girl looked at her aunt, who gave her an encouraging smile.

"Mama, I want to keep it. I want to raise my child by myself – I just don't know how."

Cora gave her a small smile.

"I can understand your wish to keep your child, but I do not see a way for it to happen without causing a scandal."

These words made tears well up in Edith eyes.

"Aunt Rosamund PROMISED I wouldn't have to give the child up!"

"And you won't, dear, we will find a solution, don't worry," the redheaded women assured her niece and glared at her sister-in-law.

Cora felt angry towards the other women. How could she promise Edith such a thing? But then she realized that Rosamund was just as aware of Edith situation as she was herself, and jet she managed to comfort the girl when all she did herself was to damage the girl – it was hard to admit, but Cora was sure that Rosamund knew Edith better than she did.

"Alright," she continued, looking at the two reddish blonde women, "How do you suggest we do that?"

"We were hoping you would have an idea for that problem," answered Rosamund with a deep sigh.

"No…but I will think about it. When do you plan to leave for Switzerland?"

Edith looked at her aunt with curious eyes. That was something she'd like to know too.  
The women grabbed a letter from the small table and handed it over to her sister-in-law.

"We can leave whenever we want, starting in ten days up to the next four weeks. The problem is we can't wait too long to leave – Edith, You will start to show sooner or later – neither can we leave without preparing everyone or we will raise suspicion."

"What about leaving in two and half weeks? You – we- can tell Robert you have been preparing this trip for a while and it is not too much of rescheduling needed to take Edith with you."

"That should be believable," did both Edith and Rosamund agree.

* * *

It was later that day, during dinner when Cora explained that Edith would not be in England for the season. Robert looked at his wife in surprise and she gave him a sweet smile.

"I think Rosamund should explain it to you."

Everyone turned to said woman, Violet even seemed to be slightly horrified what her daughter had to tell them.

"Well," Rosamund started,"I am not going to do something stupid that could ruin all of you – Mama, you do not have to worry about such a thing. I have decided to improve my French, since all I ever learned from my governess is 'Bonjour' and 'au revior' and so I made the decision to go to Switzerland. And since I do not like to travel alone, Edith has decided to come with me."

"Really?" Robert looked between the two of them with confusion, but Isobel spoke before he had the chance to say anything else.

"Why would one go to Switzerland to learn French?" she wanted to know, obviously confused by this suggestion. Rosamund smiled at her.

"Well, I don't like French people too much. At least in Switzerland you can converse with people. And of course the hospitals in Switzerland are better – n case one of us should fall ill, but let's not hope so."

This answer seemed to satisfy both Robert and Isobel, only Violet still looked like she didn't believe a word of what her daughter had just said. She eyed her daughter and her granddaughter with an inspecting glance but did not say a word about her suspicions.

"I think it is a wonderful idea, don't you think so, Robert?"

Coras question ripped Violet out of her thoughts and she watched her son closely. He shrugged.

"I don't know – Rosamund, when do you want to leave?"

"In about three weeks."

"Isn't that a very short time to prepare such a big journey?"

His sister shook her head.

"I started planning month ago and taking Edith with me does not take too much preparation. So, what do you think?"

He nodded.

"Why not? It will be a good distraction for Edith."

The women smiled, but Cora saw in her husbands' eyes that it wasn't the last thing to be said in this matter.

* * *

 **Okay, here we go. I said I would stick as close to the storyline as possible, so Edith and Rosamund will be going to Switzerland. And of course Violet knows her daughter would never want to learn French, and she sure will find out about the real reason…and maybe she'll even have a helping idea…?**

 **Oh, and one question: Anyone any suggestions on Edith daddy? I have dozens of ideas and I'd like to hear yours!**

* * *

 **Thanks to everyone for reading this story and reviewing!**

* * *

 **Guest:**

 **Thank you!  
Yep, Rosamund is definitely the 'fun aunt'. The next chapter will not have a flashback, but I think the chapter afterwards will contain the rest of Edith holiday in London. And then we may get a surprise when Violet sees her daughter 'mother' little Edith…**

 **Well, I hope you did like this chapter too :)**

 **Ethelthayerfan:**

 **Thanks!**

 **I'm glad you liked it – I think I will write a flashback about Rosamund and Marmaduke at some point, maybe they'll discuss little Edith then?  
The rest of the solution will come in the next chapter, and then it's time to leave…**

 **I hope you did like this chapter too :)**


	6. the story starts to form itself

**Happy new year to everyone!**

 **Well, I hope you all had a good start into 2017.  
Another week, another chapter – I can't promise I can update on Wednesday next week since it is the first day of my exam phase…**

 **Whatever, I hope you like the chapter! Have fun :)**

* * *

"So that is why you left for London," Violet said and looked at her granddaughter. "And Cora does know the real reason for this…trip to Europe."

Edith nodded. Her grandmother had invited her and aunt Rosamund over for tea and discovered the real reasons for their travel plans. But though she had apparently guessed something like that she seemed truly surprised about Cora's knowledge of the subject. Then again, she thought, she would have never expected for Cora to tell Edith THIS secret. Now she listened closely as Edith and Rosamund informed her about the details of their plans.

"And what do you intend to do with the baby?" she finally asked.

"I will keep it here and raise it."

"That is impossible."

"Aunt Rosamund promised I can keep her."

Violet glared at her daughter, but the younger women glared right back.

"A mother should not be separated from her child," she said simply, but there was something in her eyes that kept Violet from saying anything else to her daughter.

"So you need someone who can claim the baby as his own and then for some reason give it to you."

"You would help us?" Edith asked, completely baffled by her grandmothers reaction.

"Why does that surprise you so much? You are my granddaughter," Violet replied, looking slightly affronted.

"I'm sorry, Granny. It's just…I didn't expect you to be so …nice about it."

"Well, it is way too late to do anything about it now, so we just as well all work together and make the best of this situation. This – since Rosamund foolishly promised you to keep your child – would be to find a good reason for you to have a child."

The three women sat in silence for a moment and thought about what they could do.

"We could tell Robert a friend of Edith from London decided to accompany us. She has no family left and her husband died two month ago of the flue in London. When Edith told her she's going to Switzerland she decides to join us, hoping to get away from the depressing house full of memories."

"And since she does not have any more relatives, she asks Edith to become her child's godmother when she finds out that she is pregnant. Due to complications she dies shortly after giving birth…"

"And I'm left in charge. That could actually work."

They fell into silence once again, to think about the plan they had just come up with. It still was dangerous if someone found out the truth, but if they played all their cards correctly and both Edith and Rosamund stuck with the story while they were in Switzerland, well, then it was very unlikely that anyone should suspect anything.

"Well," said Rosamund and sat her empty teacup back on the saucer, "I think I'll better be going back to tell Cora about this and give you some more time to catch up."

* * *

After giving each of them a kiss on the cheek the redheaded women left the house and – since the sun was shining – decided to walk back to Downton Abbey.

Even though she had grown up here, Rosamund didn't think of Downton as home. She had always felt like home in London, but maybe that was caused by the lack of loneliness she felt there with all the people. And there, of course, she wasn't under her mothers' watchful eye all the time.

Rosamund hated that she constantly obeyed her mother – she did love Violet, but sometimes her mother was just too much. Of course she had always wanted the best for her daughter, but Rosamund knew that what her mother thought was the best for her daughter was not necessarily what she wanted or what was best for her inner wellbeing.

While she was Edith aunt she had always been closer to her than to her sisters, and she cared deeply about her. Never would she want Edith to end up like she did herself: Unhappy and unable to ever tell how she truly felt, living all alone in a big and empty house with nothing to look forward to.

Rosamund shook her head to make those thoughts go away. She was here to take care of her niece who needed her, not to swell in depressing thoughts about her own life.  
Taking another deep breath she walked up to the front door of Downton Abbey to find her sister-in-law and tell her about their plans.

* * *

While Rosamund was walking back to the main house, Edith was led into the gardens of Dower house by her grandmother.

"So, Rosamund took it upon herself to help you," the Dowager Countess began. Edith nodded.

"How did that happen?" Of course Violet wanted to know the whole story; earlier she only got the most important points of what happened. Now she looked at her granddaughter expectantly.

"Well, I wanted to get rid of the baby at first," the girl confessed. Violet took a sharp breath that made Edith continue somewhat hurried.

"Aunt Rosamund – I suppose she expected me to be pregnant after her maid caught me when I came home that night – made me tell her where I wanted to go. She did not want me to go alone, so she insisted on coming with me – but when we got there I heard that woman scream and I couldn't go through with it, I just couldn't."

"That was the reason why you came back from London earlier than planned two weeks ago, right?"

"Yes. Then, last week, Mama found out. But unlike aunt Rosamund she was so…shocked, I suppose, and angry – very angry. She told me all those horrible things and said she wasn't my mother! That was why I was too shocked to think straight, so I went to London again, and there I stayed until I came back with aunt Rosamund."

"I see."

Violet had been quite surprised when she had found out what had made Edith leave. Never would she have guessed that Cora could slip so heavily – no one had ever been meant to find out that Edith was not Coras and Roberts's daughter, especially not Edith herself. But now the girl knew, and for some reason she seemed to be relieved.

The Dowager did not dare to say anything that might upset Edith, so they sat in silence until the younger women spoke up again.

"Granny?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know who my real parents are? Rosamund said she knew, but she wouldn't tell me, and-"

"I do know, Edith. But I will not tell you either."

A look of frustration spread upon Edith face.

"Why? Why does nobody want me to know who I am?"

"Dear, we do want you to, but we all promised to never speak about it to anyone."

"But why?"

"To protect you. To protect your mother. It was better that way, for everyone."

"Did you know my parents well? Do I know them?" That thought had suddenly occurred to Edith what if she knew her parents without even knowing who they really were? Her grandmothers' face, however, did not show any emotion at that question.

"You do know your mother, I suppose. As for your father…I could not say if you have ever met him, but I don't think you did. Your parents – your mother, that is – did – no, does love you very much. I remember she was visiting Downton quite often, but after she left you in Cora's and Roberts care she could not come back to visit you very often without raising suspicion."

"So she stayed away."

"Yes, though she still comes back here from time to time to pay everyone a visit."

"But didn't anyone notice that it was not Cora who was pregnant? The servants, perhaps, or even any other visitors?"

"There were no visitors. The staff was paid to be quite, but the only ones who have already been working here back then are Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes. "This made Edith shut up. It had never occurred to her that maybe one of the servants knew about her story as well. But they would never tell her anything, now would they?

Edith shook her head. There was no way she would go to ask Mrs Hughes about her parents. Sooner or later someone would slip and then she would learn the truth.

* * *

 **Now they got a plan and the Dowager will help them – a great improvement. Hopefully that will be enough to convince Robert…**

* * *

 **Guest:**

 **Yep, we stay canon. But I think we will have at least a few chapters of what happened in Switzerland and not just skip the eight month…  
Well, Cora does love Edith, but she knows that if someone finds out that Edith child is her own, then the gossip will never stop. She had more people to think about than Rosamund does, so their opinions on certain things are quite different.  
Violet does now know the whole story, Robert has, since he is a man, no right to know anything, right? If his mother agrees, he will most likely do so too…but he will not find out too soon…**

 **Thank you for reviewing!**

 **Ethelthayerfan:**

 **Thanks xD  
I hope you liked the conversation with Rosamund, Edith and Violet, even though Cora was no part of it. But in the next chapter Cora and Rosamund will have another talk and we will have another flashback with the focus on the relationship between the three of them.  
I really hope you still liked the chapter ;=**


	7. When two finally agree

**Hello everyone!**

 **This chapter is a little late, but I had written it on paper and only had time to type it this evening.  
Again we have a flashback, the second part of the Christmas flashback a few chapters before. Starting at the next chapter I'll try to make the chapters a little longer, but I cannot promise that yet.**

 **Well, I hope you like it :)**

* * *

The train to Dover had not been very pleasant for Edith, but both Rosamund and Cora had helped her to keep calm and made her as comfortable as possible.

After Violet had made clear that she liked the idea of them going to Switzerland, Robert had not made much more fuss about it, so Cora had decided she wanted to accompany them to Dover. She would stay there overnight and enjoy a day at the sea, then do some shopping and go back to Downton the next day.

Cora wasn't sure herself why she had decided to do that, but she wanted to help her daughter and her sister-in-law as much as she could. Was there a better purpose for spending money than for something like that? After all, thing would be only half the trouble if she had kept her temper when Edith told her secret.

Since the three women had a cabin for themselves, Edith had laid down on one of the benches, her head bedded on a neatly folded coat while the older women sat on the opposite bench.

While Edith was sleeping – they had needed almost half an hour to convince her to go to sleep – Cora and Rosamund were thinking. Neither of them knew they were thinking about the almost same thing:  
Cora was remembering the last time she drove to Dover in 1900, on her way to spent Christmas in Paris while Edith was staying with Rosamund and Marmaduke. This time she would be the one to stay back in England while the other two would leave.  
Rosamund thought about all the times Marmaduke had taken her to foreign countries and how strange it had felt to wave goodbye from home whenever Cora and Robert had left – especially that one time in 1900. She had always been the one who left, but back then she didn't mind staying back, because she had Edith with her.

It wasn't that Rosamund didn't love Mary and Sibyl; it was just different with them. In her eyes, Mary had always gotten too much attention – Cora and Robert had spoiled her to no end.  
Sybil on the other hand was the youngest, the little sweetheart everyone just had to love. But Edith had been the weird girl, and the only one who could relate to her bookish nature was Rosamund.

Next to her Coras thoughts had wandered on to Christmas 1900. Little did she know what had happened in London.

* * *

 **35 Belgrave Square, 22.12.1900:**

" _Are you sure this is a good idea, Marmaduke?" Rosamunds voice was low as she spoke to her husband during breakfast. She tried not to draw Edith attention to their conversation, but that was nearly impossible. The girl was still amazed that Rosamund actually had breakfast with them EVERY morning! Her Mama always had breakfast in bed! Right now it seemed like she wasn't listening to the adults at all, and Marmaduke chuckled._

" _It's a little too late now, don't you think? Besides, we are talking about your mother. She would come anyway."_

" _I suppose she would," groaned Rosamund. It had been a while since she last felt as horrified about something as she felt right now about Violet coming to London with Sybil for Christmas._

 _When they arrived later that day, she was really glad to have her husband by her side. Little did Rosamund know that her mother was watching her even closer for the following week._

 _Violet knew that Rosamund would have loved to have children herself but couldn't have any, but she wasn't sure if she could picture her daughter as a mother. Seeing her with Edith…well, to say it was unexpected would be understating.  
The Dowager had never really believed in fate – or that fate was always good, if it existed – but at that moment Violet just couldn't help but think that fate was cruel. _

_Seeing Rosamund with Edith had changed Violets opinion. Her daughter would have made a great mother, and yet that was never to be. And Edith herself…well, Violet had never seen the girl so happy at Downton; just like Rosamund she seemed to bloom in London._

 _Those were more or less the words she wrote Cora in her letter to Paris. Had she known what trouble it would cause, she would have probably never sent it.  
Cora had received her mother-in-law's letter two days before they left Paris to come home. Reluctantly she had shown it to her husband and then immediately called Rosamund._

" _Mama said Edith seemed very happy with you and Marmaduke?"_

" _Yes, she is_."

" _Well…"_

" _What is it, Cora?"_

" _Well, could Edith stay with you a few more days with you? I would be lot easier for her to come back home if there is not so much chaos everywhere from us coming back…"_

 _Rosamund sighed._

" _I suppose she could stay a few days longer," she finally answered, but Cora didn't hear the hesitation in Rosamunds voice. The older woman wasn't quite sure if Coras plan was a good, but she didn't want to cause any trouble._

 _After hanging up, Rosamund called Edith down to talk to her._

" _What's wrong, aunt Rosamund?" the girl wanted to know._

" _I just spoke to Cora, Edith. She wants you to stay here a few more days until they have unpacked and settled into Downton again."_

 _Edith looked at her aunt with big eyes; eyes filled with even larger tears._

" _If Mama wants me to…," she said slowly, but obviously y very unhappy._

 _Rosamund pulled her into a hug. This was exactly what she had feared; that Edith would be unhappy about not going back home, probably feeling like she was cast away – again. But the girl did not cry, she simply sat next to her aunt for comfort. After a while Rosamund sent her up to her room because she had to finish some important paperwork. A huge mistake._

 _Edith had told the made she didn't want to have tea, something Rosamund accepted without questioning it. It wasn't the first time Edith didn't join her, and she didn't want to make her do something she didn't want._

 _She sat in her bedroom next to her husband when suddenly the door burst open and her maid came in._

" _I beg your pardon?" Rosamund gave her maid a scolding look for the improper behaviour and the girl curtsied quickly._

" _Milady, Milord, Lady Edith is nowhere to be found."_

 _Rosamund froze._

" _What do you mean nowhere to be found?" At least Marmaduke could keep calm. He softly patted his wife's arm, but Rosamund was too horrified and upset to even recognize it._

" _It seems she has run away, milord. Her coat is missing, but no one has seen her leave."_

" _How could no one have seen her leave?" Her voice shook and Rosamund couldn't help but blame herself. How could she let something like this happen? Why hadn't she spoken to Edith right after she told her she would stay longer? She had no doubt that the girl had run away because of Cora's call. And now she was somewhere out there, alone, in the dark…_

 _Rosamund couldn't keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks, but Marmaduke brushed them away before he pulled her into a soft hug. He gave the maid instructions to call the police and ordered the rest of the servants to go out and look for Edith as well._

 _When he came back to his wife, she had calmed down a little, but Marmaduke had the feeling that she could start crying again every moment._

" _Ros –"_

 _She stopped him by crashing into his arm and nuzzled her face into his shoulder._

" _This is all my fault," she whispered. "I have to go out and look for her – I could never forgive myself if something happened to her! She is all alone, in London – god knows what could happen to her!"_

" _Can I stop you from going to look for her?"_

" _No."_

 _Marmaduke nodded. He wasn't angry, he understood his wife and if she needed to go, he would not stop her – it wouldn't do them any good. Not that he liked the thought of his wife running through London on her own in the night, but…if he was in her place, well, he would most likely do the same._

 _Rosamund didn't know where to go first. Edith would have most likely gotten lost in London, still – it couldn't hurt to check the places she knew first, right?_

' _Where would I go if I was a child?' she thought to herself and, knowing Edith, she ended up at the Green Park._

 _If it was fate or pure luck that had led her there, Rosamund didn't know but she was thankful. She knew exactly which places she had shown to Edith here and there was one among them that the girl had loved more than any others._

 _The woman walked straight towards the weeping willow on the small lake, the one with the bench hidden underneath. When she realized that there was a small figure sitting on the bench, Rosamund started running._

" _Edith!"_

 _The small person turned around. It was indeed Edith._

 _Rosamund pulled her into a bone breaking hug, softly stroking her hair before she inspected the girl for any scratches._

" _Oh Edith," she whispered, "do never do something like this again, promise me."_

" _Why?" The girls answer startled Rosamund._

" _Because we were worried about you! Who knows what could happen to you in London – in the middle of the night it is even worse!"_

 _Edith looked at her with huge eyes._

" _You shouldn't have worried about me, aunt Rosamund. Mama and Papa don't worry either."_

" _Of course they worry about you."_

" _No, they don't. They don't love me – that's why they left me with you, because they don't want me! They only love Mary and Sybil!" Finally Edith started to sob uncontrollably and clung to Rosamund. The women held her close and softly stroke her back._

 _It was rare that Rosamund Painswick didn't know what to say, but at that moment she was at a loss for words._

" _Your parents love you very much," she said after a while. "Cora and Robert are just not good at showing it to you. If they knew about this - they would be devastated. They love you very much," she repeated._

" _Will you tell them?" There was a hint of panic in Edith voice as she looked up to her aunt._

" _No…I won't. However, I will speak with Cora about the way you are treated, alright? Now come, you are freezing and we wouldn't want you to be sick, right? Let's go home."_

* * *

Both Rosamund and Cora remembered that particular conversation very well.

"I'm glad we finally work together. Imagine Edith did not tell you – we have seen how well I dealt with her," Cora said, watching the sleeping woman. Her sister-in-law turned to look at her.

"Yes. It would have been a disaster."

"You have always been better with her."

"Naturally. She's more like me than anyone else in the family. But I only wanted what was best for her."

"We both did. It's just that we never agreed what the best was."

* * *

 **At least they agree on what is best no, right? In the next chapter Edith and Rosamund will already be in France, but I'm not yet sure if I should write the whole stay in Switzerland, skip it completely like in the show or just write some important occasions? What would you like?**

* * *

 **Guest:**

 **Thank you for always reviewing!**

 **I hope you are not disappointed that I didn't write the conversation between Cora and Rosamund yet, but I thought I could maybe write that in a 'flashback' later – I felt like I was stuck with the plot for a couple of chapters and another conversation would only draw it further…**

 **Of course Mrs Hughes and Carson know – they have been there when Mary was born, so how could they not?**

 **Ethelthayerfan**

 **Thanks for always reviewing!**

 **Yep, it's very frustrating for Edith. But she decided she wouldn't ask anymore – she wouldn't get any answers anyway and Mary could overhear… But she'll find out soon, I promise :)**


	8. And so it happened

**What can I say to defend myself? Nothing, actually…I just had a lot to do. First with the final written tests, then we had to send our "Yearbook" to the printer, and after that I just didn't have time for anything. I'm really, really sorry that you had to wait so long for this chapter.  
It is a little short, especially since it took so long, but dragging it out just wouldn't have fit…**

 **So, I hope you enjoy the chapter and I promise the next one won't take so long!**

* * *

Edith awoke with in alarm. She felt sick – again – and the hobbling of the train didn't do her any god as well. Luckily, the time at the ship had been easy to handle as the women next to her had been a nurse and therefore offered her help.  
This time though, Edith was on her own.

Hastily she stood up and rushed into the bathroom of their cabin. It did take only seconds until the door opened again and Rosamund rushed in. Without saying anything she put a cold flannel on Edith neck and knelt down next to her, soothingly running a hand over Edith back.

"Why did I want this?" the younger women groaned.

Rosamund gave her a small smile.

"That is a question we all ask ourselves at some point. I know exactly how you feel – it's going to be alright, I promise."

Edith didn't answer but sighed heavily and rested her head at Rosamunds shoulder.

"Thanks, aunt Rosamund," she whispered.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, darling."

"Yes, I do." Edith looked up and gave her a weak smile.

"I have to thank you for doing this, for helping me, I…"

"It's alright –oh, it's going to be better soon…" Rosamunds' voice was soothing as Edith was hit by another wave of nausea. Only then the younger women realized just how much of a great person Rosamund was – she was really glad to have someone like that as her aunt.

* * *

It wasn't until much later that day, when Edith woke up after taking a nap in the train, that she realized there was something of about her aunts' words. Though it would take even more time until she would finally be able to point out what exactly that was…

Aunt Rosamund had said _"we all ask ourselves that question at some point"_ , and she had told her she _"knew exactly"_ how Edith felt.

'That is strange,' Edith thought, 'aunt Rosamund never had children, did she?'  
If she wasn't mistaken, Rosamund had married Marmaduke when Edith herself had been about a year old and she couldn't remember that her aunt had ever been pregnant. Though, if she did recall correctly, there might had been one conversation between her mother and her grandmother that she had overheard when she was a child.  
Edith was pretty sure Granny had something like _"She'll never have grandchildren, not since…"_  
Well, since what? That was something Edith couldn't recall hearing.

Anyway, the point was that Rosamund – the only person who had always been honest to her – had now been lying to Edith.  
She couldn't know how Edith felt, right? She had never asked herself… Suddenly a thought popped into Edith head. She couldn't, except – but no, that was insane, right? Surely she was wrong. She had to be. Aunt Rosamund couldn't be her mother, right?

Edith looked up and studied her aunt closely. The older woman was sitting across from her, concentrated on reading a book and didn't even realize Edith intense looks.

Rosamund had red hair – the only person in the family who did not have black her had almost the same hair color as she had herself? A strange coincidence, thought Edith.  
Unlike Cora, Rosamund dressed a lot more fashionable, but that was probably caused by the fact that she was – unlike Cora – living in the city and therefore had permanent access to the latest fashion trends.  
Living in London was something Edith loved herself while the rest of the Crawleys despised it and preferred Downton for permanent residence.

Another similarity.

And then there were the books.

Unlike Mary or Sybil, Edith loved reading all kinds of books. Cora had always told her it came from Roberts's family, since she herself did – much to Violets annoyance – actually preferred short American novels and other short stories. Robert himself had an amazing library, but it was small comparison to his sisters' collection of books.

And then there were all the times Rosamund had preferred her over her sisters. And of course there was that particular Christmas, when she had been staying with her aunt over the holidays...

* * *

Rosamund had been wondering if something was wrong with Edith all day long. Ever since she woke up around lunchtime, she had been acting weird. She was silent, apparently deep in thought about something she didn't want to share – yet.  
During dinner, when they had finally arrived at their hotel, they had barely spoken, but Rosamund decided not to push it.

She was just finishing her letter to Cora when the door opened and Edith came in. Rosamund turned around and to look at her.

"Good evening, Edith," she smiled, but Edith stopped her.

"It's you," she said, her voice low, but clear. Rosamund gave her an irritated look.

"Pardon?"

"It's you, right? You are my mother."

There was a tear rolling down Edith cheek, but Rosamund didn't see it. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and bit her lip to keep herself from crying. Why would Edith get such an idea?

"Am I right? Are you?"  
There was no way to deny it. Rosamund took a dep breath and opened her eyes.

"Yes, you are right. I am…"

Now Edith couldn't stop herself from crying. The only person who she had thought had always been honest, had been lying to her more than anyone else; had kept the biggest secret from her.  
Emotions took over when she started to talk again. Though her voice was still low, it was so hard and unforgiving that Rosamund almost flinched.

"How could you do this to me? How could you lie to me – for ALL MY LIFE?!"

"Edith please! Calm down!" Rosamund had tears streaming down her face now herself, but she couldn't care less when she looked up at her … well, daughter. She understood how furious the girl was with her, but still – shouting would neither help the situation nor was it good for her and the baby.

"No, I'm not! Why? Why, why, why? Just tell me!"

"I'll speak to you if you sit here and calm down." Only years of practice and continuous training gave Rosamund the composure to stop her tears now and bring her voice back to a normal level.

Her words didn't help any bit. It might have worked with Mary, but something like that would never work on Edith. Unfortunately.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for what you did –"

"It was only for your own good," whispered Rosamund, but Edith ignored her.

"It was not fair! I had to grow up as the weird child! And all the time, you knew EVERYTHING and NEVER said a word! You always acted just like the good aunt, but…"  
The sobs made her stop and Rosamunds heart twisted at her sight. It hurt what Edith had said, but she didn't care. At that moment, all she dd care for was for the young woman to calm down – for her own sake.

With her fingers clenched around the foot of the bed, Edith looked at her.

"Right now I am just so angry with you, because on top of just giving me away – giving up on me – you won't tell me anything!"

"I can not talk to you if you are so upset – you don't want to listen to my explanation –"

"You don't want to explain ANYTHING!" Edith nearly shouted. "And now you blame me... Oh, just leave me alone!"

"Edith, I –"

"I hate you!"

* * *

 **I know, I'm not nice for letting it end this way, but the next chapter is already halfway ready, and I actually have the storys outlining finished. So since we now have Edith mum, all we need is a daddy for her, right? But that will take some more chapters…**


	9. About coming to terms with things

**Hey everyone!**

 **I promised I wouldn't take too long, and still it have been two weeks…sorry…  
But, for my own defence, those were the last two school weeks of my life (aside from the next two days and viva voce at the end of March) and therefore, they were pretty busy.  
This chapter is a little more focused on Rosamund at first, but later we jump to Edith again, don't worry. The next chapter will hopefully not take too long, but I can't promise anything.**

 **Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

" _I hate you!"_

Edith words hung in the room, even after she had slammed the door behind herself, leaving Rosamund alone. The women wanted to follow her but she just…couldn't. She just leaned on the door, breathing heavily.

Now that she was alone, her composure fell. Somehow, she managed to move to the bed before she broke down completely. No one would believe that the women who was crumbled on the bed –her arms wrapped around herself while tears were streaming down her face – was the usually perfectly behaved, sharp toughed Lady Rosamund Painswick.

Oh, how she wished her Marmaduke to be there now! He would hold her and he sure would have had an idea what she should do about Edith.

The mere thought of Edith let her sobs become harder and harder.  
She had been right, now had she? She had been lying to her for all her life, but it had only been for Edith own wellbeing!

Rosamund couldn't bring herself to think about Edith as anyone else.  
For the past 32 years, she had forced herself to make Edith believe she was her aunt and had even kept herself from calling her "daughter" in her own thoughts – the fear of accidentally letting something slip was just too big.

Ever since she had told her about her pregnancy, Rosamund had been afraid that Edith would find put that they weren't actually aunt and niece but mother and daughter.

And now exactly that had happened and Edith had the worst reaction possible.  
Probably most cruel about it was Rosamunds complete understanding for her reaction.

Though she had preferred Edith over her nieces for all these years, she had never treated her like a daughter. And neither had Cora and Robert.  
It was a fact that Rosamund couldn't deny, she had forced herself not to see Edith as her daughter.

Marmaduke had of course known about everything – how would she have been able to marry with a lie standing between them? She had known it was the right thing to do, and after she had told him she also knew he was right for her.  
He had held her hand all through her story and then told her, that he still wanted to marry her. If she wanted to claim her daughter back, he said, he would help her and stand by her side.

She had declined this offer – it would ruin them all. Not only Marmaduke and herself – they couldn't care less – but also her parents, her brother and the entire Crawley family. No, she couldn't do that to them. Marmaduke had accepted her decision, he understood.

After a year of marriage, Rosamund had discovered that she couldn't have any more children. Despite her trust in Marmaduke she was afraid of what he would do now – but he had just held her and told her he loved her, no matter what happened. He even offered again to get Edith back to her, but her answer had been the same.

Maybe she should have taken the offer. Maybe she should have taken her daughter back – it would have ruined her – them – but they could have gone to America. Everything would have been better than this.  
Right?

Rosamund shook her head. There was no use in pondering over 'what –ifs'. She had come to peace with all those things long ago…or at least she thought she had.

They hadn't told her parents that they wouldn't have children until much later, and even then it was only by accident. Violet had been over for tea and had picked on her about it. Rosamund had stayed calm until her mother brought Edith into the discussion.  
She should stop crying after Edith and start anew with her husband – Edith had a new family now and would never know that she – Rosamund – was her mother.

"She'll always be my only child – no matter what you say. You can't change that, and you never will."  
Her voice had been as cold as ice, but Violet had just been staring at her when she realized what her daughter had just told her.  
Looking back, Rosamund wasn't sure her reaction had been wise – but then again, she had been young and her mother had hurt her.

They hadn't spoken for month after that, until Patrick, her father, died. His death had left them shaken and somehow she had been the only one who could stand Violets sharp and snippy comments. Maybe it was because of their similarity in character, or simply due to her equally sharp tongue – it didn't matter.  
In the end, they got closer again and even though Violet brought the topic up now and then, Rosamund had forgiven her mother and they had built the relationship they had now.

But ever since Marmadukes death, everyone avoided talking about this, for what reasons, Rosamund could only guess.

And now, everything was told and known.

When Edith came home that night – the night she spent with Michael – Rosamund had been afraid. She wasn't mad – at least not as mad as Cora would have been. No, she was just afraid that this would happen, that Edith could be in the same situation she had been in.

Then, weeks later, Edith had come to the decision that she wanted to get rid of the child. Rosamund had been horrified, but still, she could understand why Edith would want to do something like that. Not that she was happy about it – how could she? Edith, her girl (not that she dared to think about her like that), wanted to get rid of the one thing she couldn't have, the one thing she gave away for a better life.  
But it was not her decision to make. So she just went with her – if anything happened, she wanted to be there for Edith.

She had been terribly relieved when Edith changed her mind in the last minute.

When they got home that afternoon, they had been sitting at the chaiselounge and Rosamund had held the crying Edith for hours. Her girl was completely devastated – what should she do now?  
Rosamund had promised to help her…and with everything that had happened during the past few weeks, she was almost happy again – until tonight. How could she have known that Edith would react like that – no, she hadn't really known, but she did have a feeling that her reaction would be drastic.

And still, she didn't blame her. After all, it WAS her fault, and Edith was right.

But had she really made so many bad decisions? Had she really done so much wrong?

Yes, she may had bent to her families will and gave her daughter to her sister-in-law, but she would never have given her away if she had any better options.  
She had always done what was best for her little girl…right?

At some point, Rosamund fell asleep, though she couldn't recall when – all she remembered afterwards were lots of tears.

* * *

One room down the hall, Edith had put on her nightgown and lay down on her bed.

Though she had been thinking about nothing else all day, she still was completely in shock. Never, NEVER, would she have thought that something like this could be the truth.

Her aunt. Of all the people possible, it had to be her aunt.

Now aunt was mother, mother was aunt – it were horribly confusing thoughts for Edith. How should she call Cora and Robert and Rosamund now?  
She had no idea, so she simply pushed those thoughts aside; now starting to think about what had just happened in her au – no moth – no, in Rosamunds room.

Honesty, what could the other women have thought when she gave her away? Didn't she love her?

And then, suddenly, she understood. How could she have been so stupid? Her…well, mother, had not given her away without a reason. Thinking about it, she had actually told her why she was given to Cora and Robert already.  
All along, Rosamund just wanted for her daughter what Edith wanted herself. Yet she was acting like she didn't want Rosamund to have just that.

With a deep sigh, Edith whipped away her tears before she got up and walked down the hall again, towards her…mothers' room.  
She knocked, but no one answered. She tried to open the door – but apparently, Rosamund had locked herself in. Edith knocked again and again, but still there was no reaction. Only silence came from behind the door.

Finally, Edith turned around and walked back to her room.

* * *

It had been a late night, so when Edith made another attempt to talk to Rosamund, it was around 10am.  
But – unfortunaly – knocking at the womans' door had just as much effect as the night before.

"Au- Rosamund? Are you there? I want to talk to you!" No reaction. Sighing deeply, Edith slumped against the door, not caring that it wasn't proper for a lady. She had behaved horribly last night and now she had ruined the best relationship in her life. Yes, everyone had lied to her, but Rosamund had only tried to calm her down last night. Instead of listening to her, all she had done was being unreasonable and childish – she was sure that she had ruined everything now.

Edith didn't know how long she had sat there, but by the time she started one last attempt to talk to Rosamund, she felt horrible.

Lady Rosamund Painswick was the strongest person she knew, yet she had locked herself in.

 _She's so much stron_ ger than _I am,_ Edith thought. _I never really thought about the consequences for everyone, I only wanted to keep my child – I couldn't even think about giving up on it after I went to that horrible doctor.  
She thought about the whole situation afterwards and because she wouldn't have been able to care for me, she gave me away. I can't care for my child either, but I still want to keep it…because I think it's the best. _

It was then that Edith realized that, even after so many years, her real mother only wanted what was best for her. Edith didn't even want to imagine how painful it must have been, keeping the façade of an aunt up for over 30 years, never letting anything pass that could reveal the truth.  
And all she did was telling her how much she hated her.

Slowly, Edith got up again and knocked one more time.

"Aunt Rosamund? Mama? I am really really confused right now, and we should really talk about this. Please – I'm very sorry about last night. My behaviour was completely inappropriate and … I'm really sorry."

She fell silent, but still there was no noise coming from inside the room. Sighing once again, Edith turned around and walked back to her room.

* * *

"Edith! Wait!"

Startled, Edith turned around. Her aunt – mother – was standing in the door to her room, looking nothing like her usual self. But she didn't care; she just rushed towards Rosamund and flew into her arms.

"I'm so so so sorry," she whispered, but Rosamund softly took her chin and made her look up.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything – I am sorry; my behaviour was completely…out of line."

Edith didn't say anything, she just nestled her face in Rosamunds shoulder and let herself be pulled inside by the older woman. They sat down next to each other in silence, both searching for the right words.

Finally, it was Edith who broke the silence by looking right into Rosamunds eyes.

"I'm really sorry for all the things I said yesterday. I really don't hate you – I was just so angry and shocked and I didn't understand …"

"It's alright, darling. You don't have to apologize. I do completely understand why you said those things and why you were so angry. Honestly, it could have been a lot worse, right?" Rosamund smiled slightly. "You don't have to worry, I'm not angry at you-"

"Then why did you lock me out?"

A sad smile flashed across Rosamunds face.

"Because I was emotional and could not think straight, just like you. I simply was afraid that you would really hate me – I could not bear that thought. Can you forgive me?"

""Of course! I was just as horrible to you, I said a lot of things I didn't mean – will you forgive me?"

Edith suddenly felt like a child, asking forgiveness for doing something stupid, something against the rules. And in some way, that was actually true.  
When she heard her words, Rosamund just smiled and pulled Edith close.

"You'll never have to worry about that, darling. I'll always forgive you."

"I forgive you, too…"

They sat in silence for some time, Edith simply enjoys being held – Cora never held her, she only did that with Mary and Sibyl – while Rosamund reflected about the last hours.  
She had been afraid that Edith really hated her, and even though they had at least sorted that out, there were a lot of things they still had to talk about.

Taking a good look at her daughter Rosamund realized that Edith didn't look much better than she did herself. Obviously, her night had been just as restful as hers. While Edith had at last bothered to put on a proper dress and pin up her hair – unlike Rosamund, who still had a long red braid hanging over her shoulders – they both had red, puffy eyes from all the crying and both of them looked like they would fall asleep any moment.

Making a quick decision, Rosamund pulled Edith up and towards the bed.

"I think your questions can wait a little longer, right? Because I think we both need some sleep first…"

Yes, Edith agreed silently before she fell asleep in her mother's arms, they would need some energy when she was finally learning the whole truth.

* * *

 **That's it. They made up, at last partly, but be sure that they will fight again when it comes to the topic of Edith father…**

* * *

 **I'm sorry I didn't answer the reviews in the last chapter, but I really wanted to update the story and I simply forgot. Sorry!**

 **Guest:**

 **Yep, Edith has calmed down. But I though we definitely needed to see things from her point for once, before we go into the story with her father and everything.  
Don't worry; Storytime will at least start in the next chapter :)**

 **Leonie1988:**

 **Thank you! I hope you did like this chapter too!**

 **Ethelthayerfan:**

 **Thanks! I hope this chapter satisfied you – in the end, they have calmed down. And you are definitely right, the really need each other. In the next chapter, Rosamund will start telling Edith about their history and why she did, what she did…**

 **RegalLana13:**

 **Wow, thank you!  
I'm really glad you like the story, and I hope you did like this chapter too.  
Cora did not appear in this chapter, but I plan to go a little further into her relationship with Rosamund when I let her tell her story. Though I'm not sure yet, I think it will at last partly be written in flashbacks…but I don't know yet.  
Oh, and of course she needs to be informed sooner or later that Edith does now know EVERYTHING…**


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